Looking at past posts, especially the last one I wrote, I think maybe I am neglecting to write about how wonderful it is to be Sophie’s mom on a daily basis. Yes there is sorrow when I see milestones passing or when I see her in pain, but day in, day out, she is a joy.
If you are reading this and you have a special needs child, these are things you already know, but for the rest of the world, special doesn’t begin to describe my child.
The love that my child inspires is remarkable. She is delicate and vunerable and there is a purity to her that I have only seen in a new born. It is truly like have babyhood extended way beyond it’s time. The only thing that doesn’t match is her growing body.
Not many people take the time to know her. She isn’t loud and definitely doesn’t demand attention. Yes sometimes she yells or screams in restaurants or grocery stores, but that is her sickness that always screams for attention. The quiet little girl inside is only coaxed out in peaceful times. She sneaks out when her sickness is sleeping. She is only visible if you really look for her. She is a hidden treasure, and like most hidden treasures when you finally get a glimpse of her she is more beautiful then you could have ever imagined.
She has stretched me into a better person. She expanded my heart to hold this massive love she inspires.
My patience has stretched while I learn to care for her and wait for God’s healing.
My empathy has stretch as I meet the eyes of the other parents I see walking down the isles of grocery stores with their hidden treasures, it is amazing how I never really saw them before.
She has stretched my self discipline as I continue wake in the night to calms her cries or give her medicine, as I still change diapers at 5 years old, as I spend hours trying just to figure out what is wrong or what she wants.
She has stretched my vision of what a mom can be as I strive to mimic new role models, mothers who don’t worry do much about there housework or teaching their kids to read at 3 or 4, but who struggle through a marathon fight and never give up hope.
I am blessed by the sweetness of God’s gift of Sophie every day, and I feel honored that God entrusted her to me.
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